


After the Void

by thesometimeswarrior



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s04e09 Beyond the Wilds, Gen, Post-Canon, Post-Series, Trauma Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 08:10:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12031746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesometimeswarrior/pseuds/thesometimeswarrior
Summary: They sit in a pregnant silence for several minutes, Korra drinking her tea entirely too fast and looking at it rather than up at Zaheer, until finally she says: “I don’t forgive you, you know.”“I don’t believe that I did anything requiring forgiveness.”Korra, Zaheer, and loose ends.





	After the Void

When she comes back to her body, opens her eyes after that first time, sees him standing there gazing at her, she doesn’t say anything. She tells herself that there isn’t time. (Never mind that she knows that Jinora and the others are safe, that she felt it in her as she released their Spirits, that there really isn’t a rush…there isn’t time, she tells herself.)

Really, time has nothing to do with it. Really, she sees him levitating there, looking at her with a sort of apathetic curiosity, and she loses her words. Her tongue is tempted to say _thank you_ , and _mean_ it, because she finally feels Raava with her again, feels whole and herself again for the first time in three years, and it’s because of him, because he guided into the Spirit World, allowed her to move past all that residual fear of what _almost_ happened, and finally, _finally_ accept what _did_ …

But, she reminds herself, _he’s_ the one who did it to her in the first place, without _him,_ there would have been nothing to accept, she wouldn’t have felt broken and afraid like this in the first place. It’s still _his fault_ , all _his_ fault…

So she says nothing. Just nods at him once, watches him respond in kind, before turning her back to him and walking to the elevator.

* * *

She returns one near-death experience, several revelations, and a vacation later. 

“Back so soon?” he chides, without landing or turning to look at her.

“Kuviria’s done. I thought you’d want to know.”

“Yes, I heard. I also heard that you saved her life.”

“You sound like you don’t approve.”

“We both know that I prefer a more permanent approach to dealing with tyrants.”

“And look how that turned out! Your _approach_ is what led to this mess in the first place! I _had_ to save Kuvira so that she could call her army off. If I hadn’t, they would have kept fighting without her, and nothing would have changed!”

“Is that really why you saved her?”

Korra hesitates for a moment. “No.”

“As I have heard it described by the Spirits,” Zaheer continues. “You wouldn’t have even had to kill her. You just would have had to stand aside and let her own weapon destroy her. But you didn’t.”

“Of course not.”

“Why?”

“I guess…because I would have wanted someone to save me.”

“She didn’t deserve your empathy.”

“Given that you tried to murder me, I don’t really care who you think I should or shouldn’t empathize with. You _clearly_ never empathized with me.”

“On the contrary. I empathized with you a great deal. That’s why we tried to take you as a child—it would have spared you so much suffering. We wanted the Avatar Cycle to end, but unlike Kuvira, it wasn’t your fault that you had been born the Avatar, and with the proper guidance you could have been a force for Freedom and Good in the world while you were here, could have had a happy and fulfilling life, and would have agreed to end the Cycle yourself when your time came.”

“You mean you wanted to manipulate me into being your puppet!”

“How is that any different from what your mentor has done?”

“You mean _Tenzin_? He cares about me!”

“I’m sure he does, now. I saw it for myself when he nearly laid down his life to protect you from us. But when you were a small child in the South Pole whom the White Lotus had just discovered as the Avatar, do you think he cared about you on a personal level? Or did he see an impressionable young Avatar that could help him fulfill his and his father’s flawed vision of what a perfect world looked like?”

“He loves me!”

“And I’m sure we would have also grown to love you.”

“I’m not staying around to listen to this!” She storms back to the elevator before Zaheer has a chance to respond.

* * *

When she walks into his cell again, several weeks later, he raises eyebrow like a question.

“I came to bring you tea,” responds Korra awkwardly as an answer. “If you want it.”

“Thank you.” He lands, and reaches for the porcelain cup, once Korra has poured it as well as one for herself. Then, as Korra folds her legs and sits on the ground, Zaheer allows himself to levitate again into a lotus position and sips.

They sit in a pregnant silence for several minutes, Korra drinking her tea entirely too fast and looking at it rather than up at Zaheer, until finally she says: “I don’t forgive you, you know.”

“I don’t believe that I did anything requiring forgiveness.”

“You tried to _kill_ me! As it stands, you wrecked me for over three years…”

“It was never personal. I regretted that it was necessary, but for a future worth having, some sacrifices have to be made.”

“Then sacrifice _yourself_!”

“I would have, gladly, if it would have done any good. Just as P’li did.”

“ _You_ don’t get to decide what’s good for the world!”

“Neither do you. And yet everyone treats the Avatar as though they have that right.”

Korra looks down again, suddenly fascinated by the remnants of tealeaves in her cup.

“But what I would like to know,” continues Zaheer. “Is why you keep finding excuses to come here.”

“I don’t!”

“You do. You came yourself to tell me that you defeated Kuvira, despite the fact that I can do nothing with that information, and that no one else would spare me a second thought—“

“Well, I was only able to overcome what you did to me and defeat her because of your help, and—”

“You sound like you think you owe me something.”

“I…No!” She hesitates. “I don’t know! I’m better now—after years, I was able to accept and overcome what happened to me, but I’m still so _angry_ at you for what you did to me! But, even though so many people tried to help me, _you_ were the only one who believed in me enough and was able to say what I needed to hear to get over my block! So I feel like I should _thank_ you. But it was _your_ fault in the first place…” She pauses, catches her breath. “And I come here expecting to see a monster, like the person who tried to poison me and then bend the air out of my lungs…but you’re not that. In some ways, I think it would be easier for me if you were.”

“Yes, I can relate to that.”

“What?”

“Do you think it was easy for me to accept that the Avatar seemed like a fundamentally decent person? Misguided, perhaps, but strong and with good intentions. In my years in the Red Lotus hearing the stories of Avatar Wan and his reckless cockiness, I had come to expect certain behaviors from you, and I forced myself to ignore the fact that I didn’t find them when we met again three years ago. Considering it would have only made what we had to do more difficult.”

“But you _still_ tried to kill me!”

“Of course. As I said, it was never personal. Regardless of your merits as an individual, our goal was still to end the Avatar Cycle as a whole. Even if you were a good Avatar—and you did seem to be—we nonetheless believe that the Avatar Cycle as a whole is corrupt and detrimental to the Freedom of the world. It took time for me to accept this cogitative dissonance.”

“It did?”

“Yes. Do you think that you were the only one who had things to accept after our battle? Do you think that I wasn’t also angry that we had come so close to the world of which we had dreamed, and that it was snatched away in the final moment? Or that I had unlocked the secret to weightlessness, and now I was bound in chains? That I was probably never going to get out of here now? I was. For several months, I too, was unable to enter the Spirit World, and—”

“Really?”

“Indeed. I also couldn’t levitate for some time.”

“What did you do?”

“More or less what I told you to do. I mediated, eventually accepted that dwelling on what might have been wasn’t helping me recover.”

“And me? How did you manage to reconcile your feelings about me?”

“I let them play out, just as I had with the events. I stopped judging myself for feeling the way I did, and once I did that, I realized that lot of the anger that I thought was directed at you was directed at myself. If you want some advice,” Zaheer pauses. “Let yourself be angry at me even though I’m not a monster, but let the anger pass when it wants to. Stop fighting it. It will help you find peace.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Let’s just say that it has been a long time since I have had something other than tepid water to drink in the material world. I appreciate the tea.”

Korra raises an eyebrow, but she pours them each a second cup.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I love comments!


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